So you want to romance a romance author... Good luck. No really, good luck. We can be cynical or down right mushy— both of which may be hard to take. There are a wide range of romance authors out there. I’m a dramatic, comedic, sarcastic one which is an odd combination in itself. If you want to impress us, you need to understand a few things. Don’t expect this to be easy. After all, we’re the Casanovas.
- Standard Pick Up Lines Don’t Work on Us. Are you kidding me? We wrote the pick up lines and every romantic date you could possibly fathom. Stick to being honest and genuine and you’ll be fine.
- The Usual Bores Us. Why do you think we create different relationship scenarios in books? While flowers and dinner at a restaurant are nice, we much prefer a man who can think creatively and put time and effort into the relationship—like we do when writing our romance novels. Bonus: Create a romantic scene similar to characters in one of our novels. You have read one of our novels, haven’t you?
- Read Our Novels. I shouldn’t have to tell you this. *Sighs.* They are practically guides to winning us over.
- We See Through You. No really, we do. While being a sort of human lie detector comes with the author territory, being a romance author allows us to cut through the romantic cotton candy fluff and see what is or is not true. We can tell if you’re after our brains or our body in two seconds flat. We want to know the real you and with our mad human reading skills, we will figure out the truth anyway because most authors are great at reading people.
- Make Us Laugh. We aren’t all intensity and rose petals. For instance, I love the comedic Valentine’s Day cards from The Office and Drunk Austen:
<Dwight from The Office will bring you back to reason this holiday season.>
<A favorite movie.>
Or if all else fails, there is my personal favorite, Romancing the Stone. The greedy rascal seeks to understand romance writer Joan Wilder while dodging bullets and searching for treasure in caves. Their lives are saved at one point because the bad guys realize she is their favorite romance author. Just saying, it pays to be with the romance writer.
Now go buy all the discounted chocolate candy! While we may not be into trivial things, chocolate certainly doesn’t hurt. You’re welcome.
XOXO,
D
